As a high school teacher, I field a slew of questions from September to May. However, my most FAQ has not come from my students, but from my readers, who want to know: "When can I buy your book?"
They say that misery loves company and the 1 in 8 of us who struggle with infertility are desperate for stories that mirror our experience to assure us that we're not alone. We're hungry for honest narratives that don't whitewash our grief, but offer a hope that transcends our circumstances, no matter how we resolve our infertility. Like a frightened child during a thunderstorm, we long for a grownup -- someone with more knowledge and experience than we have -- to tell us, "It's going to be okay."
I wrote the book, Life After Infertility, for that purpose...for you, the waiting. And as I head off to the Write to Publish conference outside of Chicago this week, I carry your stories with me. I carry Babs at Miracle in the Making whose two year journey has taken her six hours from home to endure an unsuccessful IVF procedure. I carry Promise and Matt at Hope Collided , the cutest musician couple you'll meet, gearing up for their first IVF transfer. I carry Samantha, gamely joining contests and praying for the financial means to afford treatment. I carry Lisa at Amateur Nester, offering a boatload of encouragement and practical advice on her blog even as she prepares for her next procedure. I carry my sweet Twitter friend Katie, and Courtney, waiting to adopt a sibling group through foster care. And I carry Rebecca, married for three years and too ashamed to go public with her struggle.
As I pitch my book to publishers and agents about why the world needs this story about infertility, I will be thinking of you.
Photos & gifs brought to you by my technical director, Faith Rollandini
So, when can you buy my book? That depends. If an agent or publisher picks up the book, it could be up to a year before it is available. If not, I hope to self publish on Amazon by late fall. In the meantime, here's a sneak peak into what you'll find in Life After Infertility:
Memoir/Christian Living
19 chapters
275 pages
Chapter One - Wishing & Hoping
Waiting brings a promise of blessing
Chapter Two - Options & Obstacles
Faith and infertility treatment can coexist
Chapter Three - Marriage On Infertility
How to wreck your marriage during infertility...and save it
Chapter Four - A Zygote is a Baby
Grief and recovery after pregnancy loss
Chapter Five - Free Rangers
How taking a break from treatment can help you find perspective
Chapter Six - The Decision
Choosing to give up on "trying"
Chapter Seven - Plan A
Considering adoption
Chapter Eight - It's All Good
How God uses our suffering for transformation
Chapter Nine - For Unto Us
When the wait for a baby is over
Chapter Ten - Surprise
Relying on God when life doesn't make sense
Chapter Eleven - Flying Solo
Getting matched with birth parents
Chapter Twelve - Red Flags
Exploring degrees of openness in adoption
Chapter Thirteen - A Little Faith
Managing strained bio-adoptive relationships in adoption
Chapter Fourteen - The Gestational Carrier
Understanding ethics and faith in surrogacy arrangements
Chapter Fifteen - The Heartbeat and the Holy Spirit
Turning anxiety into trust
Chapter Sixteen - Cosmo
Discovering God's sense of humor
Chapter Seventeen - False Alarms
Managing surrogate relationships
Chapter Eighteen - Grand Finale
Witnessing modern day miracles
Chapter Nineteen - Life After
Trusting God's faithfulness in every outcome
And here's one more tidbit to whet your appetite. A short blurb from chapter one. Pssst...let's keep this just between us, kay?
"My dreams of having a family with a pack of rambunctious kids went back to a time when I pressed my 5-year old hand into wet cement on the front porch of my new playhouse and assumed the role of Mommy to my dolls and stuffed animals and any neighborhood kids who were willing. I could not separate my yearning for children from the rest of me, which led me to believe that if the mothering part of me was left to wither, the rest of me would follow suit. The most difficult lesson in my 27 years came down to one terrifying idea: I am not in control. In the end, this truth would free me from a shallow faith that had allowed me to spend a quarter of my life on cruise control."
I'd appreciate your prayers as I march into battle, friend. See you next week!