Trying Too Hard? 5 Signs That It Might Be Time for a Break
The nurse wheeled me through the temperature-controlled hospital lobby and out into the harsh sunlight where my husband waited with our Chevy Malibu. Summer had always been my favorite season, but in that moment I couldn't remember why. I had just lost one Fallopian tube and twins in my first trimester and was unable to string together the words for a prayer. I felt abandoned...hopeless.
Hitting this wall became the impetus for a life 180. No more "trying", my husband and I decided. It was time for a break from infertility's roller coaster ride.
Have you hit any walls lately? Found yourself surviving more than thriving? Here are five signs that it might be time to take a break from "trying" to get pregnant.
1. Strained Relationships
Forget about a soulmate. Your husband's main purpose of late has been as acting sperm donor. Your BFF's Instagram posts of her newborn make you want to break up with her. And you're not returning your mom's phone calls because you just know she's inviting you to another family gathering rife with bulging bellies and nursing babies.
When you view every relationship through infertile glasses, it might be time for a break.
2. Prayer Block
You've lost count of how many EPTs with that little blue line have wound up in the garbage. You've bargained with God over a baby and he has consistently answered "NO". If God is indifferent to your struggle, why give him the time of day?
If you have lost the desire to talk to God or can't find the words, it might be time to for a break.
Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash
3. Emotional Overload
Managing chronic grief has left you with a "glass half empty" mentality. Anger and sadness seem to seep from your pores and you have little patience for those who can't get on your level. In one moment, you snap at a coworker. In the next, you dissolve into tears.
If your emotions are holding you hostage, it might be time for a break.
4. Financial Over Extension
You've maxed out five credit cards and taken out a HELOC to cover a series of unsuccessful IUI and/or IVF attempts. You may still be in debt when your long -awaited baby heads to Harvard.
If funding infertility treatment has put an additional strain on you and your marriage, it might be time for a break.
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You've experienced tubal pregnancy, miscarriage, or infant loss. However, with an urgent sense of your ticking biological clock, you haven't stopped "trying" for long enough to grieve and remember.
If you've lost a baby at any stage of development, it might be time for a break.
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
Does the idea of taking a break scare you? Do you worry that giving up on pregnancy, even for a time, will mean saying goodbye to your baby dreams forever? Inhale. Exhale.
Taking a hiatus from trying to get pregnant might be the best decision you'll ever make. Next week, we'll talk about the benefits of taking time off and lay out some tangible options for doing so.
In the meantime, friend, praying you'll be blessed as you wait.