But first, a definition:
TTC: Trying-to-conceive
How can I support my friend/daughter/niece who is struggling to get pregnant? It is one of the most common questions people ask me when they're looking to offer tangible support to women who are facing the rollercoaster ride of infertility.
Christmas happens to be the perfect time to reach out to women who are toiling to make their dreams of family a reality. Now more than ever, the constant waiting and monthly disappointment of failed cycles can feel overwhelming. Add to this the long waits to get on the books at the speciailist, and many anxious couples are feeling isolated and out of options.
A well-timed gift throws a life-preserver to the struggling woman and communicates to her this vital message: You are not alone.
Whether practical or humorous, extravagant or small, your gesture of remembering your infertile friend at Christmastime will allow her to hold on to hope during this trying time.
Practical
For trips to and from the infertility specialist and to make those days of waiting in bedd more bearable. This one may seem juvenile, but if they have furbabies (trust me) they will LOVE it!
$13.99 at Amazon
Few couples paying for infertility treatment or adoption paperwork can afford a night out. Your local dollar store has plenty of options in the checkout lane.
Cleaning Service
You may think childless couples have plenty of time to clean their homes. However, between balancing careers, infertility treatments, and--often--depression, finding the time and motivation to maintain a tidy living space can be challenging. Even a one-time spic-and-span service can give TTC couples a boost! Of course, you could always provide the service yourself; just don't let your friend take "no" for an answer!
Gas Card
Many couples drive for hours to reach their reproductive endocrinologist. Help with the cost of gas can ease the financial strain.
A Home-Cooked Meal
There's nothing like your Mom's meatloaf or your hubby's carnitas delivered piping hot to your friend's front door at dinnertime. This act of love provides comfort food at its finest.
Photo by Krisztian Tabori on Unsplash
Soothing
Candles
Who doesn't love an aromatic candle? This Whiskey and Tobacco scent is to die for and will allow your friend to experience two vices they are forced to avoid whilst trying to conceive! Only $9.99 at Walgreens.
Weighted Blanket
These cozy throws provide reassuring stress relief for women in the middle of infertility treatment. Get this one at Aldi for only $19.99. It's just the right size for Great American Family Christmas movies and chill.
Gift for the Furbaby
For many infertile couples, our furbabies provide immeasurable solace during TTC's many ups and downs. Acknowledging their importance to us by buying Max or Luna a gift is sure to bring smiles of gratitude.
Coffee/Tea/Hot Chocolate
There's a reason so many of us wrap our hands around a hot mugga something all day long. The flavor and heat contained within provide instant comfort that travels from our lips down to our tummies and radiates outward. Check out loose leaf tea at my favorite Mi Cacao Tea where the husks of 100% organic cacao beans create a unique tea experience that's both healthy and delicious (Mmmmm, chocolate). Better yet, check out your local tea shop or downtown market.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
Danielle Clay Bead Body Wrap with Lavender & Chamomile
This wrap can be frozen or microwaved depending upon need. Especially helpful for reducing redness and irritation at injection sites or soothing overstimulated ovaries.
$13.05 at Amazon.
Distractions
Books
If your friend is a bookworm, she'll appreciate the opportunity to dive into a great read and forget her troubles for an afternoon. For a treasure trove of book ideas, see Anne Bogel's blog at Modern Mrs. Darcy and Infertility Rx: Memoirs right here at the Real Life, Real Faith blog!
Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
Movies
Another great escape, getting lost in a movie can transport us far away from our current reality. Try a DVD favorite from your friend's coming-of-age era or consider paying for a subscription to a streaming service, such as Frndly TV, ($9.99/month or $96/annual) which features fun channels such Lifetime, Up TV, and Great American Movies or PBS Passport ($5/month or $60/annual), which features riveting period and crime dramas for the armchair traveler.
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash
Time with you
Adulting is demanding. Show your solidarity by planning a girls' date with your BFF. She'll be thrilled to know that you've given up the precious commodity of time just for her.
Craft Kit
Help your sister channel her creative side by furnishing her with a craft kit. Check out the options at Self's 25 Craft Kits for Adults to Keep You From Going Stir-Crazy at Home.
Photo by Vladimir Proskurovskiy on Unsplash
An Experience
From paintball to scavenger hunts and wine tasting to escape rooms, Groupon boasts adventures galore and at hefty discounts!
Photo by Chelsea Pridham on Unsplash
Virtual Concert
No matter your infertile friend's musical tastes, there's a virtual concert for her at Veeps. December's headliners include Pentatonix, For King & Country, Gretchen Michaelson and many more. Prices start at $9.99. Enjoy the concert with her or head to a local dive to take in some undiscovered talent.
Photo by Marc-Olivier Paquin on Unsplash
Humorous
Lighten her mood with one of these fun dish towels.
$14.95 at Amazon
Stand-Up Comedy
The gift of belly laughter is always on point. And I would be remiss if I didn't recommend a few of my faves. Check out Anjelah Johnson's That's How We Do It, Tim Hawkins' Push, Pull, Point, Pow, Chonda Pierce's Unashamed, and Tim Hawkins' Live Tour Dates.
Copyright 2016 Anjelah Johnson | All Rights Reserved
Infertility Humor
No one quite gets the hilarious parts of infertility like someone who has been there. Click on the pic to be magically transported to the store. (Disclaimer: I have not read all of these books so cannot vouch for the cleanness of the content. They are, after all, talking about trying to get pregnant 😉).
Spiritual Encouragement
Devotional & Memoir
(Click pics for store links.)
Yes, this is my book. 🙂
Jewelry
Check out Etsy for a variety of unique designs created specifically for women facing infertility and pregnancy loss.
Budget
Framed Quote
Grab a dollar store frame and use a Canva template to design/print your own frameable quote.
Fuzzy Graphic Socks
These Dollar Tree options will make her smile!
Hand-written Note
A heartfelt note reiterating your love and care for her will remind her that you'll always be there when she needs you.
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
Plant
She's a natural nurturer. Give her something green to care for while she waits.
5-pack at Amazon $17.13
Gifts That Keep On Giving
Magazine Subscription
Give your niece some glossy pages to pass the time while she's on bedrest. These are a few of my faves that, unlike many women's magazines, don't focus on parenting. Google them to find your best deal. Magnolia Journal. The Pioneer Woman, Reader's Digest, HGTV Magazine, and Real Simple.
Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash
Audible Subscription
Your daughter can listen while she takes a much-needed stroll. (Frugal side note: Did you know that apps like Hoopla and Libby make it easy to borrow ebooks, audiobooks, and movies for FREE?)
Journal
Especially when facing a lifequake like infertility, journaling is therapeutic. For affordable options, check out Walmart.com or your local dollar store.
Whimsical Planter
Who can resist these adorable blob planters, which come in many shapes and sizes?
Starting at $12.95 plus shipping.
Regardless of your budget or gift choice, the Infertile Myrtle in your life will be thrilled and grateful that you took the time to acknowledge her pain and demonstrate your compassion by blessing her with a Christmas present. And don't forget that, as she faces TTC, your continued presence in her life is the very best gift.
Until next time.
Your hope cheerleader,
📣
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