3 Simple Truths to Cling to During Infertility
I know what you're thinking. Is this time of waiting and wondering ever going to end? Will my life ever be defined by anything other than baby hunger?
Girlfriend, please listen. You will survive infertility. You will one day look back and marvel at how different your life looks. You will stand in awe of the work God has done in you. At how heartbreak has hammered you into both a warrior and a sage.
You must shun bitterness moment by moment and put on truth. It will feel like a scratchy wool sweater at first and you'll want to trade it for a comfy t-shirt of cynicism. Don't. Look past your feelings to what you know in your bones. Let these three truths remind you.
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1. You are not alone
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deut 31:6 NIV)
Truly, our faith (complete trust or confidence in someone or something) does us no good if we don't believe it. We all have an internal heckler who causes us to question God's presence. Likewise, we have an internal cheerleader who shouts that God is right beside us every step of the way. The loudest voice will be the one to which you choose to listen.
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2. God is still in control
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Oh, I see you rolling your eyes right now, preparing to swipe this page right into oblivion. Five miscarriages were part of his plan? Really? How about desiccated Fallopian tubes or a failed adoption? How could anyone be in control of such a mess? The truth is that God sees your pain and disappointment. He knows you feel lost. But don't mistake your big-picture blindness for chaos. He has allowed (not caused) your infertility for a bigger purpose, one which will result in your joy and his glory.
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3. There is life after infertility
The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous. His ears are open to their cry. He delivers them out of all their troubles. (Psalm 34:15-17)
My life after infertility looks like two beautiful daughters through adoption and a quirky son through a gestational carrier. Yours may involve pregnancy and child birth, adoption, or doing life with your mate as a family of two. Every step you take now is preparing you for whatever light awaits you at the end of this tunnel. God's promise is not that the outcome will look exactly as you expected, but that it will suit you to a tee because God cares about your dreams and listens with rapt attention to your prayers. He knitted you together a few decades ago already knowing this difficult middle for which he's already written the perfect ending.
Homework: Think of a past trial you made it through. Make a list of how God showed up during that time. Can you trust him to show up now? Refuse to give the heckler valuable head space.
Until next time,